Beauty Unplugged: Struggle to be the Ideal Muslimah

Went grocery shopping today.  It was horrendously warm today, and my babies were fasting, so we were all thirsty.  And there is a rule about  going shopping hungry, Ya Illahi. LOL   Antywayz, I haven't blogged in a long time.  I actually only just remembered I had a blog.  I'm doing pretty well in school, although I have finals next week and am trying very hard not to trip.  I'm pretty sure I'm flunking History, so I'll have to retake that and Sociology next semester.  But I'm acing my other classing (or actually B'ing one, lol) so its cool. Bettering myself is still a daily chore.  I can tell when something in my house is out of wack because nothing goes as it should.  No matter how much I do, it doesn't look as if I'm doing anything.  I am good.  I am in love with the One who loves me.  I mean.....seriously in love.  Like, I think about Him all the time.  About all the things He does for me, and how I can make Him more pleased with me.  When stuff

Okay, so occasionally I look at myself and how far I've veered from what my goals are as a person.  To accomplish something everyday, that my household will run smoothly and orderly, that I won't be fighting for every moment of peace.  That I will have a general schedule that will allow me to get everything I have to do, done in a timely manner and still leave time for me to do what I want to do.  Even if I have to make time.  Well, I have fallen quite far from the ladder.  My house is not running as its usual smooth sailing self, some days we (meaning all of us in the house) get absolutely nothing accomplished.  I don't want my children raised thinking its okay to do nothing at all.  smh, definitely not okay.  So I am reinventing me once again.  I'm redoing my schedule today.  It won't be the strict schedule, but it will be tailored to get at least the major things like, class work, cleaning, volunteer work, and daily chores done in time for dinner to be at 6:30 sh

Wow, okay so its been a crazy day!!  So this morning I get up and am so tired, I made tahajjad and did my reading, slept for an hour, got back up for fajr and then went back to sleep.  I was soooo wasted!!  Cause I was up late last night.  So....I have a large amount of things left to do this evening.  My children and I had school until late this afternoon, instead of early to early afternoon, which is fine, accept it puts dinner time back and that means cleanup time and SLEEP TIME.  LOL Why do I sound so obsessed with sleep. LOL I lack time management skills.  So.......I was making isha last night and while I was making my dua, I saw a rainbow.  Which is great, but the best part is that I studied it whilst I was dhikring thinking, "Am I really seeing this?"  lets think, its night time.  I have one light on, in the living room, where I am, and the rest of the house, save the hallway, is dark.  I have on a dark red and black veil and a cream colored overgarment.  The rainbow i

Okay, so I know I'm just jumping in here but.  I'm all about self discovery and I'm deeply into doing that right now.  What is life but an opportunity to better yourself for your maker.  My Allah is so profoundly Merciful and Kind, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for Him.  Bettering myself is the least I can do, even though it is the hardest and most energy and time consuming thing possible. I have a councillor, till I get her permission she will remain known only as my councillor.  She is a Mercy from my Allah, Sukri Alhamdulillah. Well, for the past week I have fighting just to get in the basic five salats a day.  I don't know what the problem was, but I was definitely fighting.  I was missing Zhur and Asr for like two days in a row, I was sleeping completely through tahajjad and Fajr.  It was crazy! I felt like I was drowning in a sleepiness that would not be appeased.  I made intense dua.  I asked my Allah for safety, for His protection against whatever