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An Epiphany!

Went grocery shopping today.  It was horrendously warm today, and my babies were fasting, so we were all thirsty.  And there is a rule about  going shopping hungry, Ya Illahi. LOL  
Antywayz, I haven't blogged in a long time.  I actually only just remembered I had a blog.  I'm doing pretty well in school, although I have finals next week and am trying very hard not to trip.  I'm pretty sure I'm flunking History, so I'll have to retake that and Sociology next semester.  But I'm acing my other classing (or actually B'ing one, lol) so its cool.
Bettering myself is still a daily chore.  I can tell when something in my house is out of wack because nothing goes as it should.  No matter how much I do, it doesn't look as if I'm doing anything.  I am good. 
I am in love with the One who loves me.  I mean.....seriously in love.  Like, I think about Him all the time.  About all the things He does for me, and how I can make Him more pleased with me.  When stuff gets really really hard, I remind myself of how much I love Him, and how there is nothing, absolutely nothing that I wouldn't do for Him.  And how He keeps me so grounded, and He makes everything I do worth doing.  Sukri Alhamdulillah.  I love Him insanely!!!  And He gave me His most favorite creation Salallahu 'alaihi wa salam.  To little old me, that's how much He loves me.  All of this, has brought me to the conclusion.  That my Allah is completely aware of my condition.  His alone is decree.  He put me in whatever situation I am in, and He alone can remove me, or make me happy in this situation.  Whichever He  chooses.  The choice is His, and I'll be pleased, rephrase....try to be pleased with whatever He chooses for me.  Because I know He knows what's best for me, and most importantly, He wants what's best for me.  And I trust Him.  InshaAllah.  Sometimes its frustrating, but I know if I stand up for Allah's laws, as hard and.......for lack of a better word.....frightening, as the confrontation can be, He will stand up for me.  And no one can stand against Him.  I'm just watching this movie, wondering how it will turn out.  Making sure I take care of my responsibilities, and do my best to keep my Rabb pleased with me at all times. InshaAllah.  Sometimes that is not nearly as easy as it sounds.   Especially as a wife, you get caught in situation where in order to please your Allah, you have to displease your Allah.  Either way you choose?  Not very fun!!  Then you spend the next week and every time you think about it again doing tauba and seeking forgiveness, afraid that I may have displeased Him in my efforts to please Him.  Sheesh!!  A bit worrisome...........
On better feet..........I am tired, rephrase, sleepy, I am sooo sleepy.  Its after midnight and I am working on 3 1/2 hours this morning.  I need to get my next four hours in.  Oh, Ramadhan Mubarak!!  I know that's massive late. LOL LOL  
Later InshaAllah

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